The depression I experienced earlier this year was in fact pretty startling, in hindsight. I certainly felt a feeling of hopelessness, and it was like a weight that was crushing me. I am normally a pretty upbeat person, and that was crushing and I think pretty disturbing for my family. It also meant that I was extremely ill-disciplined about my diet, and given my previous history that is something that I cannot afford to be. Having lost a few KG's before the crash, I put them straight back on again - a combination of overeating, overdrinking and a poor diet were all to blame.
I continued training as much as I could, but I was not putting in proper training, scrimping and cutting corners.
I am now pushing the tide back out. I have been much more disciplined the last couple of weeks, and the mood has most definitely improved. The running has definitely helped, and the Trail des Balcons D'Azur was a lot of fun, despite the weather, and although my ranking wasn't as great as I would have hoped for, it was a nice learning and training day out. To follow up with, let's be honest, a slightly hungover Ascension of the Col du Vence, in a reasonable time, and I am feeling ok about things.
It is always tricky finding time to fit in the training, but now is the time to really knuckle down and focus - the Western States is 100 miles of mountain trails, non stop. That is not something I want to head into with any spare pounds, or km's that I have left in training. It is also going to need mental strength. I am therefore being very disciplined about my diet and training. I am trying to fit in as much walking on hills as I can in the non training moments as well, and am trying to shake up the workouts that I do, to shock the body.
Saturday we took advantage of the sunny weather and walked with the kids to a rocky beach, clambering over rocks and swimming in the sea. Sunday, I went out for my long run - 17km and change, and enjoyed the view and actually felt pretty good - shaving off 2 mins on the in lap despite having to ascend the hill I had descended on the way out. I then walked with #2 & #3 to the pool - downhill, did a few lengths with them, and came back - uphill, on foot. They all slept well!